150 Christmas Jokes That Are Ho Ho Ho-larious

Put your Thanksgiving humor to rest as you pack up your delicious leftovers and take your tryptophan-induced nap. You’re going to have a holly jolly Christmas with these Christmas jokes that are tree-mendously funny. This festive holiday is more than just twinkling lights, tasty cookies, mounds of gifts, ugly Christmas sweater parties, and nostalgic music playing in the background. It’s also about bringing people together with gratitude and a lot of laughter, especially for those who struggle a little more

Check out these 150 Christmas jokes so you can bring a whole lot of jolly into the holiday season.

christmas joke sweater
Festive Toast Pullover Sweatshirt designed and sold by carlbatterbee

Funny Christmas Jokes
We’re going to have snow much fun with these funny Christmas jokes and puns. You can whip them out at your next holiday office party or pull them out of your back pocket when your kids (or best friend) need a laugh.

Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite cereal? A: Snowflakes
Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney? A: Because it soots him.
Q: What does the English teacher call Santa’s elves? A: Subordinate clauses.
Q: Why are reindeer so spooky? A: Because they’re cari-boo.
Q: What does it mean if you wake up on Christmas with a sore throat? A: You have tinselitis.
Q: How do you clean your hands during Christmas? A: With hand santa-tizer.
Q: Why did the snowmen get dressed up for the party? A: It was a snowball.
Q: What’s the first thing elves learn in school? A: The elf-abet.
Q: What do you say to a sheep on Christmas? A: Fleece Navidad.
Q: What do you call a snowman that’s past its prime? A: Water.
Q: Why did Mrs. Claus get to help deliver gifts? A: She had the final sleigh.
Q: Why did the reindeer get married? A: It was love at frost sight.
Q: How was the Christmas party? A: It was lit.
Q: Why doesn’t Santa like tight spaces? A: He’s Claus-trophobic.
Q: Why did the elf look so mad? A: He had a resting Grinch face.
Q: Did you know Santa is giving away new iPhones this year? A: Sleigh, what?
Q: Why did the elves fall in love? A: They had great chemis-tree.
Q: What did Santa say to his elves? A: Here’s a mistle-token of my appreciation.
Q: What did the reindeer say after he got hit with a snowball? A: Yule be sorry!
Q: What’s a favorite game at the North Pole? A: Truth or deer.
Q: Why did the elf have a lot of friends? A: Because she has high elf-esteem.
Q: What did Santa say when his elves hid the toys? A: This is snow laughing matter.
Q: What’s a reindeer’s favorite coffee? A: Star-bucks.
Q: What is Santa’s favorite candy? A: Jolly Ranchers.
Q: What do you call Santa when he runs out of money? A: Saint Nickel-less.
Christmas joke throw pillow
Candy Cranes Throw Pillow designed and sold by Sophie Corrigan

Funny Christmas One Liners
Sleigh the crowd with some funny Christmas one-liners. You can also use these in a last minute holiday greetings in a festive greeting card.

If you cross a duck and a mistletoe, do you get a Christmas quacker?
When you stop believing in Santa, you start getting clothes for Christmas.
When Santa’s in your house you can sense his presents.
The Christmas alphabet only has 25 letters. There’s noel.
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.
But wait, there’s myrrh.
Christmas has me feeling Santa-mental.
You’re a rebel without a Claus.
Put your Christmas gifts on sleigh-away.
I’m excited Yule be home for Christmas.
That look soots you.
Believe in your elf.
Don we now our ugly sweaters.
Never sleigh never.
There’s snow place like home.
You’re mistle-totally awesome.
Wanna take an elfie?
Thank you for gracing us with your presents.
You candy cane do it!
You’ve made a fa-la-la-la-lasting impression.
I love you from your head to your mistletoes.
It’s the most wonderful thyme of the year.
An elf that’s into hip hop is called a wrapper.
When Santa’s in your home, can you sense his presents?
You’re in the Saint Nick of time.
Christmas joke hat
Meowy Christmas Animal Pun Cap designed and sold by punnybone

Christmas Jokes For Kids
Who doesn’t love a solid set of Christmas jokes for kids? These are especially fun to write on little notes and send them off to school with your kiddo to read at some point during the day. They’ll appreciate the joke, and even more so, the love they feel from the effort.

Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa drive? A: A Holly Davidson.
Q: What says “Oh, oh, oh?” A: Santa walking backwards.
Q: What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? A: Orna-mints.
Why do people love Frosty the Snowman? A: Because he’s the coolest.
Q: How does Santa know it’s Christmas? A: He looks at his calen-deer.
Q: What happened when the vampire bit the snowman? A: He got frostbite.
Q: Why wouldn’t the elf share his toys? A: Because he was elfish.
Q: What falls but never gets hurt? A: Snow.
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite dessert? A: Ice Krispy Treats.
Q: What did the elf use when he broke his leg? A: Candy canes.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? A: He had no body to go with him.
Q: Why won’t the Christmas tree stand up? A: It doesn’t have legs.
Q: Who brings gifts to your pets? A: Santa Paws.
Q: Why was the snowman looking at carrots? A: He was trying to pick his nose.
Q: What’s an elf’s favorite music? A: Wrap music.
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite social media platform? A: Insta-graham.
Q: How did the elf get out of trouble? A: He was saved by the jingle bell.
Q: What did Santa say to the rowdy elf? A: Please don’t Claus a scene.
Q: What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? A: Nice gnawing you.
Q: How does Christmas day end? A: With a Y.
Q: What is Santa’s secret spy name? A: Santa Clues.
Q: What do you call a reindeer with a bad attitude? A: Rude-olph.
Q: Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? A: He felt crummy.
Q: What does a reindeer hang on it’s tree? A: A horn-ament.
Q: Who is never hungry on Christmas? A: The turkey. It’s always stuffed.
Christmas joke phone case
Love Thy Elf iPhone Case designed and sold by Sophie Corrigan

Christmas Dad Jokes
To help all the corny joke-loving dads out there, use these Christmas dad jokes to whip out during your next holiday gathering.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A: A pineapple.
Q: Why was it chilly on Christmas morning? A: Because it’s Decemberrrrr.
Q: Where does Santa keep his money? A: At the snow bank.
Q: What did the grumpy sheep say on Christmas? A: Baaaaa humbug.
Q: Why was there a ticket on Santa’s sleigh? A: He was in a snow parking zone.
Q: What is an elf’s favorite car? A: A Toy-ota.
Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch? A: Icebergers.
Q: Why is it so hard to find an advent calendar? A: Its days are numbered.
Q: What do gingerbread men sleep on? A: Cookie sheets.
Q: How is the snow globe feeling this year? A: A little shaken.
Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? A: They keep dropping their needles.
Q: What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? A: Stick with me and we’ll go on an adventure.
Q: What did the teacher say to her elves? A: Line up in jingle file.
Q: What is Santa’s favorite wine? A: Prosec-ho-ho-ho.
Q: Why was there awkward conversation? A: There was an elf-ant in the room.
Q: What did Santa say to his mischievous elf? A: You’re mistle-toeing the line.
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite cartoon character? A: Chimney Cricket.
Q: How did Mr. and Mrs. Claus fall in love? A: It was love at frost sight.
Q: Why did the elf struggle to find a mate? A: He had low elf-esteem.
Q: Why aren’t the elves working anymore? A: Santa sacked them.
Q: What do road crews use in the North Pole? A: Snow cones.
Q: What did Santa say when he looked at the weather? A: It looks like rain, dear.
Q: Why were the toys stressed out? A: Because they were already wound up.
Q: What did the Christmas tree wear to stay warm? A: A fir cloak.
Q: Why did the elf clink his wine glass? A: To give a mistle-toast.
holiday joke greeting card
Christmas Shark Greeting Card designed and sold by redscharlach

Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
Who doesn’t love a good knock knock joke? These Christmas knock knock jokes will have your kids chuckling and other adults rolling their eyes in no time.

Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open before Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Penny.
Penny who?
Penny fir your thoughts?
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Freeze.
Freeze who?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule love this Christmas party. You’re invited!
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow what day it is? Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita get to shopping for Christmas presents.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda know how many days until Christmas?
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Kanye.
Kanye who?
Kanye give me some sugar under the mistletoe?
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule know when you open the door.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Elf.
Elf who?
Elf I buy you a gift, will you keep it this time?
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Murray.
Murray who?
Merry Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Ima.
Ima who?
Ima be sneaking down your chimney tonight.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
Jimmy all those presents.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby holidays.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Santa.
Santa who?
Santa gift in the mail. Did you get it yet?
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Ya.
Ya who?
You must be excited for Christmas.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys finally time to open presents.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Coal.
Coal who?
Coal me when it’s Christmas time.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana see Santa already.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Art.
Art who?
Art you excited for Christmas?
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Alaska.
Alaska who?
Alaska Santa for what you want for Christmas.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita ride, Rudolph.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle remember to leave out milk and cookies.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah partridge in a pear tree.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive all the Christmas lights,. Don’t you?
Christmas joke travel mug
Christmas Thyme Travel Mug designed and sold by Torrest Fire

Dirty Christmas Jokes (For Adults Only)
Let’s have a mistle-toast for this holiday season, and don’t forget the dirty Christmas jokes for adults only.

Let’s get elfed up.
Birch, please.
Don’t let the cat out of Santa’s bag.
When I think about you, I touch my elf.
Hey Christmas tree! You’ve got a lot of balls coming here.
Have yourself a bloody mary Christmas.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows better than trying the back door.
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why did Santa shop at the liquor store? He was in need of some holiday spirit.
Let’s get blitzened.
What did Santa sing as he went down the chimney? “Chestnuts roasting over an open fire.”
What’s it called when Mrs. Claus’ leggings are too tight? A mistletoe.
Can I see your North Pole?
Have you been naughty or nice?
Tree’s a crowd.
What’s the difference between snowmen and women? Snowballs.
You’re the best thing since sliced gingerbread.
Shake it like a North Pole-aroid picture.
Can you pick up some White Claus for the party?
Will you help me stuff my stocking? .
You’re elfin hilarious.
You sleigh me.
Santa needs a little helper.
I have a big present for you.
Did you wrap your present before you gave it to me?
That’s a wrap! We hope you love this list of 150 Christmas jokes that will go down in history. Take things up a notch this holiday season with a Christmas sock exchange or another unique gift exchange theme. You can throw in some cute Christmas stickers, and you’ve got a solid and warm gift on your hands. If you’re in the mood for more holiday-themed jokes, check out our list of Halloween jokes for all the spook-tacular laughs